I was recently going through Reddit and Quora questions while researching a blog topic to write on. While reading some amazing threads, I felt a deep sense of pain when I read this: “I see my future is so dark and hopeless. What should I do now?”
Some advised reading a bible, some suggested consulting a doctor. Not a single person asked her what the one who questioned was going through.
I can relate to the question because for a long time I have lived countless nights crying and asking exactly the same, “would I be able to do something or my future is just dark as hell?” So, in this article, you will learn about how to be hopeful about your future and for that, I have decided to give you the 3 actionable and most powerful tips that I explored when I was going through the Is-my-future-dark type of phase.
Let’s first jump into the darkness, because there is no fun in life and writing without duality.
My Life’s “Is My Future Dark?” Stage
There is always a time in everybody’s life when we all are stuck with something like “Would I be able to make my or my parent’s dream come true?” and that’s the point when you are ready to start your journey towards self-realization. But for most of us, the stage is so sorrowful that we don’t even realize that, and the same happened to me.
I was always seeking the answer like a child who is lost in a fest searching for his mother. I cried, used to pray a lot and hoped that if not now then soon I would get the answer.
That was the time when I was getting prepared by the universe but didn’t realise it.
Here’s what I found from that brief yet hard phase of my life which 90% of people go through but no one really talks about.
Take it this way, the reason why people feel hopeless is that they can’t bear their present because of all the shitty things life is testing them with. They think that their days would remain the same and there is no chance that they will be successful.
I love how Vaclav Havel puts the need to experience hopelessness which I understood later in life. This is what he said, “Isn’t it the moment of most profound doubt that gives birth to new certainties? Perhaps hopelessness is the very soil that nourishes human hope; perhaps one could never find sense in life without first experiencing its absurdity.”
I read this quote recently, but it summarises whatever I can’t put in my own words. The most profound doubt that I experienced during the most hopeless time of my life gave birth to new possibilities.
Those ladders of darkness paved my way to light which I think is the pivot point for most of us. Don’t you think so? If you are experiencing the pain of confusion and questioning your future then you might not resonate with it. But after 2 to 5 years you will look back and laugh.
Alright, alright, let’s jump into the light. The following are five effective strategies for maintaining optimism when the future seems dim and hopeless.
3 Powerful Tips To stay Hopeful & Optimistic About Future
During my dark and unforgettable times I had been through a lot of mental stress, but I also almost unknowingly developed a habit of observing the patterns, and that has what helped me. I have also read some of the amazing books and here’s what I and smarter people than me have stated.
Tip 1: Don’t Take Yourself Seriously
I don’t think that I can explain this point better than Mark Manson. In his book, Everything Is F*cked, he has explained the uncomfortable truth about our existence.
According to Manson, at some point, we must come to grips with the uncomfortable truth that our own existence is of no consequence at all. After that, we can gradually start constructing a life that has both hope and significance.
When we start thinking about how we can make a difference in the world through our profession, we start to feel hopeless about our future, because then our mind jumps to another thought “you aren’t capable of doing that.” This cycle of ‘what you want but you aren’t capable of achieving it’ is what makes us feel that our future would be dark as hell.
But here is a thing, can you really predict your future? What if your future is brighter?
Here is a short story I love reading when I feel the universe is not listening:
This story is a summary of what happened to me when I didn’t take myself too seriously. I hoped for a better future and worked even harder.
If you can’t foretell what’s going to happen, why are you so pessimistic about your future? Don’t take yourself too seriously, because once you understand this simple idea, you’ll be able to get through life’s toughest times and start to accept that life will never give you what you want, but it will give you much better things you never thought possible.
If you don’t take yourself too seriously, you’ll be able to see and appreciate yourself at your most fundamental level — you allow yourself to be open to new experiences, new ideas, and new possibilities.
Tip 2: Compare yourself to who you were yesterday, not to who someone else is today.
“No matter how good you are at something, or how you rank your accomplishments, there is someone out there who makes you look incompetent. You’re a good cook, but there are many good chefs. Some Mafia don has a tackier yacht than you. Some obsessive CEO has a more complicated self-winding watch.”Jordan B. Peterson
Occasional wishes to kill oneself were reported by 13% of boys and 14% of girls, found in a study which also recorded that hopelessness appeared to be a mediator between depressive symptoms and the wish to kill oneself.
But how does this strong wish of disliking arise in oneself? Obviously, it can’t be without a strong sense of comparison with others. The one thing you can’t do is be everything. When we set ourselves up against others and see how we stack up against their finest qualities, whether it’s their looks, abilities, or personal progress, we can become discouraged or fearful.
We think, “Can I compete with him or be like him? What if he’s better than me? How can I beat him?” These thoughts are certain to leave you feeling helpless and depressed.
It’s all about becoming a better version of yourself. When that happens, you put your time and energy into improving your own life every day instead of worrying about what other people are doing. This makes you happier, more hopeful, and more confident.
What makes you unique amongst others is your ability to simply be who you are. In this one, you have a real chance of winning.
Tip 3: Align your expectations with your Future goals
When a person’s expectations and goals are out of whack, it can lead to a hopeless future. In order to be more optimistic and confident about the future, this tip of aligning goals and expectations is the best approach.
But how can you do that?
The best way to align your expectations and goals is to not change your goals frequently as it may create confusion resulting in loss of confidence. Along with this, have practical expectations about your future. Most of the hopelessness is created when an individual has a lot of impractical expectations and then struggles to think positively.
No one can compete with you on being you. Most of life is a search for who and what needs you the most.Naval Ravikant
This article can be summed up by the quote just above. Even if you think there are better people out there, the truth is that no one thinks, acts, and executes as you do. I know you have some dreams and goals that you don’t know how to make come true right now, but if you work toward them instead of worrying about what could go wrong, they will come true.