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How Can You Learn To Love Yourself More?

Last Updated on November 8, 2022

“As you love yourself, life loves you back.”

Love is a truly awe-inspiring phenomenon. Different people have different definitions of love. Every relationship has its own unique form of love, whether it’s for a spouse who we cherish deeply or for parents and guardians whom we hold in high regard.

learn to love yourself
Credit: Shutterstock

However, learning to love oneself is a skill that is not universally taught. But history tells us that the love we have for ourselves is the greatest, deepest, and richest love story there is.

Let’s take a look at how one can truly love oneself in a world where 80% of people are attempting to impress others and thus lose themselves in the process.

My Journey: How I Learned To Love Myself The Hard Way

I remember loving myself as a child, at least that’s what I recall. The problem is, I don’t know why I started hating myself as I grew up.

For years, I’d complain about how terrible my life was and why I didn’t have a lovely face or a fantastic body. I suppose I can lay the blame at the feet of the internet, which portrays life as a sham.

For example, if you do not have a model-like face, no one will ever fall in love with you. It’s not going to happen if you don’t have six-pack abs your life is worthless, if you can’t earn for yourself at the age of 16 dudes you’re a loser.

Many of you who are reading this have probably felt something similar. It’s a terrible feeling that can do a lot of damage to your self-esteem. Self-love was an unexpected journey for me.

It was time to put an end to the years in which I spent seeking reassurance from others about my appearance and about my goals.

There is an amazing para in one of Bell Hooks book titled “All About Love: New Visions,” where he says:

“One of the best guides to how to be self-loving is to give ourselves the love we are often dreaming about receiving from others. There was a time when I felt lousy about my over-forty body, saw myself as too fat, too this, or too that. Yet I fantasized about finding a lover who would give me the gift of being loved as I am.

It is silly, isn’t it, that I would dream of someone else offering to me the acceptance and affirmation I was withholding from myself. This was a moment when the maxim “You can never love anybody if you are unable to love yourself” made clear sense.”

Bell Hooks

So here is what I did to practice self-love and learn to accept myself the way I am.

3 Simple Ways To Love Yourself

Learning to accept and love oneself isn’t as difficult as it’s made out to be on the internet. It’s just a three-step process by which you would be able to appreciate yourself each day. And eventually, the habit will stick in your mind forever.

1. Wake Up And Compliment Yourself

Whatever the day brought, no matter how bad it was, I always get out of bed smiling. When I look in the mirror, I always find something nice to say to myself. Yes, it sounds shady, but this experience helped me accept who I am. We all have flaws, but the problem is that we complain about them as I did. Giving yourself a compliment, on the other hand, is the first step toward self-acceptance.

2. Took Good Care Of Myself

In order to stay in shape, I began working out and eating a healthy diet. You don’t have to go to the gym if you don’t want to; you can run or ride your bike instead. Just make sure you’re getting some exercise. Thinking clearly, feeling better, and acting with enthusiasm are all enhanced as a result.

3. Surrounded Me With People That Actually Loved Me

When I was younger, I tried to make an impression on those who didn’t care if I disappeared one day. But then I changed my mind. It was time for me to start looking after those who had always been there for me, even when I was behaving like a jerk toward them. I began to appreciate their presence, and that was what gave me the courage to keep going.

How To Love Yourself In Different Situations?

There will be days when you don’t have a good day, but that’s what life is all about. Because of this, here are a few situations in which you’ll find yourself hating yourself when you should be appreciating your own self-worth. Have a look, and learn how to learn to love yourself in such situations.

Learning how To Love Yourself After a Breakup

After a breakup, it’s important to learn how to love yourself. We all have that one breakup in our lives that shatters our self-confidence erodes our trust in ourselves, and causes us to dwell on the negative.

In this difficult time, you should always take your time or say “me time” to accept the fact that it is now over, hang out with your family and friends, have deep conversations about how you feel, and take things slow.
And gradually, it will all make sense why things have worked out this way.

Related: 49 Deep Self-Love Quotes: Love Yourself

As you know & learn, everything happens for a reason, and always for a good reason!

Learning how To Love Yourself After a Divorce

We all want our relationships to last forever, but sometimes things don’t work out as we planned.

To put it another way, it’s important to learn and understand your own gut feelings when you’re treated like a piece of trash.

If you are in a marriage that is not working out even after you try your best, or if you are being ill-treated by your partner, or if you are in an abusive marriage, In these situations, you should always and only choose yourself and learn to love yourself.

Acceptance and respecting yourself is the key to love. So, if you think about how you should learn to love yourself, remember that you are not alone, and you will get through this.

Learning how To Love Yourself After Being in A Traumatic Situation

The worst type of negative memory is traumatic memory. It doesn’t matter if you have a traumatic memory from when you were a child, an adult, or elderly, it will always haunt you.

Sometimes it doesn’t have to do with yourself, but our brains will still blame us for our actions and reactions.
When you feel you are getting anxious, having panic attacks, or having an emotional crisis, you should always try the things that calm your mind and body, like taking deep breaths, lighting scented and aromatic candles, and playing some slow music to divert your mind. Believe me, it always works.

In this kind of situation, never ever blame yourself. We all know we can’t just learn to love ourselves in a blink. It takes time, a lot of time..maybe a month, a year, or god knows.

Everyone has a different healing process but in this process, one thing you should do is to find yourself and learn to love yourself your way.

Also read – Best You Are Amazing Quotes To Make Yourself Feel Loved

Watch This Video On Loving Yourself

Winding Up

To summarise, it is difficult but not impossible to learn to love and accept yourself after a relationship, divorce, abuse, or any other experience. To learn how to love yourself, you must stop comparing yourself to others, stop worrying about what others think, and focus on your own happiness.

Love yourself enough to know when someone is not treating you right and respectfully! First and foremost, learn to love yourself, for the simple reason that you can’t truly love anyone else if you don’t love yourself first.

What do you think?

Written by Mukund Kapoor & Team

Mukund Kapoor is a spiritual enthusiast and self-improvement expert with a passion for helping others find inner peace and fulfillment. With a deep understanding of various spiritual practices and philosophies, Mukund has dedicated his life to sharing his knowledge and wisdom with others through his website, mukundkapoor.com. Our team is comprised of individuals who are passionate about exploring the depths of the human spirit and helping others on their own personal journeys towards self-discovery and fulfillment. On the site, you'll find a wealth of valuable information and resources on topics such as mindfulness, meditation, personal growth, and more.

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