We’ve all been hurt. It is impossible to be an adult or a teenager living in today’s world and not have experienced some form of mental or emotional suffering. It is painful. I am aware of that.
The vast majority of us are able, on some level, to empathize with how you are experiencing.
Although some of us have been through more serious experiences, it is impossible to define or compare the emotional suffering experienced by different people. People who refuse to let go of the hurt they felt in the past frequently experience it in their imaginations over and over again.
Sometimes a person can even become “trapped” in their anguish, their hurt, or their blame for their circumstances.
Therefore, in order to rediscover happiness and let go of past hurts, here are six ways to accept the suffering.
1. Allow yourself to feel the pain and verbalize it
There is no assurance that you will be able to convey your emotions to the person who wronged you, and even if you are successful in doing so, there is no assurance that they will react in the way that you would like them to.
Say what you need to say anyway. Write in your journal. You should write a letter and then destroy it. Get it all out.
2. Make an effort to focus on the ‘here and now’
It’s easy to get hooked on rehashing old memories. It provides you with the option to do it again and respond in a different manner; for example, to fight back instead of yielding, or to speak your opinion instead of censoring yourself.
No matter what you believe you should have done in the past, you are unable to change the present situation.
Fight the temptation to keep reliving the agony over and over again. You won’t be able to find happiness there if you go back. Only at this very moment can you have that experience.
3. Put an end to playing the blame and victim game.
It’s possible that you were a victim. Perhaps you were the victim of a terrible act committed by another person, or perhaps you found yourself in a precarious situation through no fault of your own.
You are doing yourself no favors by wallowing in self-pity and placing blame on others if you continue to do so. The only way to ensure that you get to live a happy life is to accept responsibility for making it happen, regardless of whether or not other people make things easier for you.
You are not accountable for the things that have happened to you in the past; nevertheless, you are responsible for the way you are behaving right now.
4. Direct your attention to the activities that provide you pleasure in the present.
It is not necessary for you to concentrate on entirely letting go of your suffering for the rest of your life; all you need to do is make place for joy right now.
What is it that you may take pleasure in right now, despite the suffering that you’ve been through in the past?
Would you find happiness in simply relax in the sun?
Don’t let your mind wander to the fullness of the remaining days in your life. Just bring your attention to the here and now, and give yourself permission to have some serenity.
When you pay attention to “nows” as they occur, you will be shocked at how quickly and effortlessly they can build up.
5. Forgive both yourself and the other person.
Even if we don’t have to forget another person’s transgressions, we should nonetheless forgive them because almost everyone has done something wrong.
Sometimes we allow ourselves to become so stuck in our hurt and our stubbornness that we are unable to even think of forgiving others. However, forgiving does not mean that one condones the actions of another.
“When your trust has been betrayed, the only thing to do is live, learn and let go. Otherwise the betrayal done by another will turn into hate for them. But they will not feel this hate, it will only hurt you more, growing bigger and darker. So, live, learn and let go.”S.L. Vaden
It is not a show of weakness to forgive someone. Instead, it is a straightforward assertion that “You are a nice person. You are an outstanding human being. You caused me distress by doing something. However, I want to make progress in my life and allow joy to once again be a part of it. I won’t be able to achieve that to my best potential until I let go of this.”
Although it is possible that we were responsible for at least some of the harm, there is no reason for you to continue to be so hard on yourself about it. If you are unable to forgive yourself, it will be impossible for you to experience happiness and peace in the future.
6. Surround yourself with individuals who make you feel better about yourself.
You can go through a lot of pain with the help of this straightforward but effective piece of advice.
We can’t get through life on our own, and we certainly can’t expect ourselves to get through our struggles on our own.
It is such a wonderful method to not only decrease the amount of loneliness we experience but also to be reminded of the goodness that is present in our life when we give ourselves permission to draw on the support of those we love.